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GALLSTONE FLUSH

Valentines v0mit
Happiness here
First thumping my chest
Heart beating back stronger
Have to open my door
From the outside
But I’m smiling
And laughing
I don’t mind
It’s sunny outside
My line is buzzing mom says hi
She’s readings old letters
Sad poems of the last time
My dad was high but low inside
Slivers of me remember
Pain tightening
In my chest
I breathe in compassion
And release
I’m doing so well
I let myself be free
Moms crying on the line
Reading to me
Remembering why
Her breasts cut out
Carved out the cancer
The resentment
The pain manifested
But the memories still reside
In the back of our mind
Burn the papers
Death certificate signed by suicide
Compassion to my sister
Compassion to my brothers
Prayers of healing
I don’t want to live here
I’m ready to get to the next part
Toss them in the fire
Forgive the lies
We told ourselves to get by
It’s all going to be okay
I tell the little girl inside
Still confused led to being used
Abused
I guess I got through
Just fine
I’m ready to get to the good part
Where I’m better than alright
Beyond trying to just survive
First thumping my my chest
Breathe out regret
Cracked open again
Bloody valentines n eyes wet
Absolved from old sins
My confession

Reverence
I slow down
Here, awareness expanding and contracting
Holy breath
The law in perpetual motion
Seeping into the cracks of space
Infinite moment
Hint of thirst
Life giving water
Sacred water
I receive in reverence
Cooling my throat and expanding my cells
A long satisfied, gasping exhale
Thank u water
It is finished
Prayers set in motion
Living scripture
Everlasting
Blessings spewing from my lips
Loving heart cracked open
Sunshine oozing out
Liquid gold churned from leftover pain
A remembrance
That brings me to move in such reverence
Deep appreciation
An intimate reverence for life itself
Thank you Pachamama
Thank you body
Thank you life
It is begun

WAYS TO ATTEND TO EMOTIONAL BODY

Emotional inquiry... at a being level.

What am I feeling right now now? What is present here for me? (It's okay if you don't know, or feel disconnected).

You might have a somatic experience. For example, sensations of heaviness in chest/ shoulders...tightness in belly or throat.. headache, or tight jaw. We tend to hold on and clamp down energetically and somatically.

Utilize the breath to help turn towards areas of discomfort. Just like when you’re working out hard or lifting heavy.

Notice where you might be holding tension or emotion in the body, without judgement or identifying with it.

Place a hand where you feel tension and consciously allow your breath to spread into these spaces.

In yoga practice we often hear "send your breath there." By sending our breath to a certain area, we are bringing our awareness into this space. Our awareness is healing. There is a healing power within each of us. Activate it!!

We also have sensory receptors.. everywhere. By using sensory awareness we are sending feedback back to our brain. Embodiment practices such as self massage, orienting, and the butterfly hug send signals to our brain that allow us to drift into a state of ease and relaxation. Once we drop into the parasympathetic response, magic, healing ,and restoration takes place in powerful ways.

As parents, business people, neighbors, humans.... we must take time to tend to ourselves in order to replenish our energy source so that we may give and live fully. Establishing a healthy balance between rest and hustle allows us to show up willingly, joyfully, and fully present. Wouldn’t that be ideal?

I invite you, to make a promise to yourself to explore and practice what feeds you. Marry yourself first. Commit to habits that expand your lens of perspective. Release expectations and limiting beliefs. Consciously open up to possibility.

Self care looks different for everyone.

I'd like to list some some of my preferred ways ways to practice regular self care. I invite you to explore a few concepts from this list and add them into your planner. Find ways to hold yourself accountable to do what’s best for you. You deserve it, and your future self will thank you.

Below are some questions you might journal on to discover your own purpose for engaging in acts of self love.

AFFIRMATIONS; Write them down on a mirror/paper, say them out loud, embody them as you repeat them!
MOVEMENT (LIFTING/YOGA/STRETCH/CARDIO/DANCE/SHAKE/IT DOESN’T MATTER JUSSS MOVE)
MEDITATION
BREATH; So underrated. Our greatest god given tool at the tip of our diaphragm. Explore the power of your breath. Breath is life.
ENERGY CLEANSING BATHS+INTENTION
NOURISHING LIVE FOOD
SET BOUNDERIES
EFFECTIVE SLEEP
FULL BODY PRESENCE
CURATE SOCIAL MEDIA FEED & FRIEND CIRCLES
TIME LIMIT ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND BLUE LIGHT
RE-ARANGE/CLEANSE ENVIRONMENT
JOURNAL
SELF-MASSAGE
CO-REGULATE WITH OTHER HUMAN OR ANIMAL
TIME ALONE
GROUNDING PRACTICE; back to nature!!!
CONNECT WITH COMMUNITY
DO WHAT NOURISHES YOU
**anything done with intention makes is sacred. You are a crafty witch. What will you manifest next?

JOURNALING PROMPTS

What does self care mean to me? What does self care typically look like for me? How often do I set aside time for myself?

What makes me feel more balanced and calm? More alive and energetic? What subtracts from my energy?

What are some morning habits and rituals that help me begin each day with intention and positivity?

Do I feel in tune with my nervous system? What are some ways I can track the state of my NS? Why is this important?

How do I know when my body and mind is in a resting state? What are the signs and signals my body sends me?

What are some ways that help me process discomfort or intense emotion?

Where do I tend to hold tension or emotion in my body? What does this feel like?

What are some effective ways I can address my inner ch1ld lovingly?

What are healthy ways for me to process emotions and learn from them? Do I tend to suppress or hold onto difficult feelings?

What would change for me/ be different if I operated from my highest potential?

How can I remind myself to check in with body and spirit throughout the day?

What are some ways I will hold myself accountable to put aside time for self-care?

God to me:
Get rid of the dusty attachments that are keeping u from taking the next step
For until u make the decision, u will be pacing in a dim lit house and dust on the window sill
Surrender your attachment to the meaning that u gave to the old stories
On the other side is freedom of expansion
a deeper peace that inspires creativity
A new story, written by a new ancestor
Sacrifice your shame, old chains

Dare to spread your wings
Taking flight on a higher horizon
Sweeping and dipping through the quantum
Skimming over the vast spaciousness that is me
Flying through a sea of infinity
Dipping a hand in the formless
Like the hand of god touching his reflection in the mirror of eternity
Like bioluminescence shimmering in the gulf
Waves of light rippling through infinite space
Power to create
A new experience
Excitement stirring in my spine
Smiling at the endless field of possibility
For God is in me and no task is too great
Every pleasure is mine.. to choose

the air after the storm
a breath of fresh air after being sucked into the polar duality feeling the pain of my ancestors
Finally
After sitting with the weight of their stories in my cells
Feeling each one... sitting around the fire
i tossed the load into the flames
dissolved into dancing dimensions
In exchange for some hot tea and to warm my feet

Lift my gaze to the night sky
the stars twinkled and winked at me
reminding me
That they are guiding me
A flame within flickering behind my sternum
Igniting my inner compass
aligned
Deep knowing within me
I am just a little piece that belongs to a galaxy
Soul smile knowing that we are family

FULL MOON IN ARIES OCTOBER

1. Are there any relationships or habits currently in my life that are draining of my energy? If you’d like, write a list of the people you want to forgive and let rest. 


2. Who are my biggest supporters and most valuable resources? Write down who you want to call into your life to help you reach your goals and potential (even if you are not aware of them yet).

3. What subconscious beliefs may be holding me back from experiencing more life and abundance? Where do I tend to self-sabotage?


4. What do I want to have, do, or be? What can I do next to invite this in and embody it?

5. List some of the qualities of your higher self.

6. Where does my motivation lie? What ignites my internal fire?


7. In what ways I can put myself first? What habits make me feel supported and grounded?


8. How can I have discernment to know when I am making decisions motivated by love vs fear?

9. What is one thing that I am proud of myself for in this last month?

From the insecure victim to an empowered creator
I used to live there
In a space in time where I knew I was made for more
Only after succumbing to what I thought everyone wanted from me
Only after acting the way they said I should be
Only After running from myself for years
Disconnected from all my senses
The church severed my life force
Spirit said no more
I was dying, my body begged for a shift
My soul for more life
I shook the shackles of fear off my wrists

I came and went many times before
But this time was different
This time I was arriving to the place where I would m33t all parts of me
This time I went deeper into the work
Because this time I was worth it, “finally”

Conscious decision with every step
Left and right into the unknown
The only space in which transformation blossoms
Surrendered more than ever before
Calling god back into my hearts home
It wasn’t until I gave up my materials, my relationships, my old identity
It wasn’t until I met my pain and let it swallow me
It wasn’t until I met her in the mirror
That I set myself free
I had to cut out the cancer underneath
The old scars
Alchemize my pain into an unconditional heart
Splattered on the canvas
A work of art
Thank you god
I found her again in those moments in the back of my van
Just me by the sea watching stars twinkling through the sunroof

An adventurous and grateful heart
It took time but I’ve finally built my home
Had to burn it to the ground and set a new foundation
Safe and secure in my vessel
The closest thing to god, a portal to the soul
Activating the divine potential inside of me

It wasn’t until I showed up for myself again and again
Head often in the clouds but energetically trapped in the first three floors
Trying to get out of survival mode
I made the choice
To see God in everything
In a penny of the ground or a smile of a homeless lady
The laugh of a ch1ld
The elements in nature
Every breath of air

I understand why it can be easier to submit to the system
To turn a blind eye and play the victim
Burying spirits desires in substances
Sometimes it’s easier to not take responsibility
But I was dying I could not longer live this way
Couldn’t miss another chance in this life time to freely create
So I had to reclaim her
Call myself back and remember where I came from
Terrifying and exciting at the same time
To realize the ability to choose my experience
Had to connect into all that was present within the body
To bring my consciousness back online

And now I can see again
Through a new set of eyes
Purpose in my bones, desire burning in my soul
Intuition guiding every step
Open to all that life has to offer
Opening to the dramatic duality of it all
Allowing space to slip up and fall
Heavily armed and guided
In the spirit realm
Calm collected connected and protected
Lighting my path fire ablaze thank you god for another day, I’m well on my way
And so it is ❤️‍🔥

Washing away my sins

Each time i surrenders to the water
Allow it to wash over me as
I disperse in its fluidity
Loosening the borders of my container
The lines of my own limits
The boundaries of me
The bath tub engulfing me
dissolving into one another

She was numb for so long
She was so pure in the beginning
It’s the eager ch1ld I can return to
In the photos stuck in the frame, in time
Once Rebellious and lively
Then shaken and silenced by systems of oppression
Hushed by the church and lost
Walking eyes down, legs shut and shoulders heavy
Yet glimpses of memories flash across my mind
Of the y0ung teacher
Teaching her siblings art in the kitchen
Moments that remind me that I can feel alive

Life turned so cold I kept piling on layers
Layer after layer to keep myself warm
Until I could no longer feel the outside world
Nor the warmth of a smile or the sun on my skin
I had created a wall around myself
A mote around my castle
The layers hardened and I found myself locked in a cage of my own psyche

Finally numb enough to not have to feel
Care, use my voice, listen to my body
Longing for release
Disconnected
An illusion of freedom
Where in fact I was backed up into a cage

Whilst in this hardened cocoon
I lost my hearing and my voice
Mute
I lost sensation… the ability to touch and be touched by what is love… by the elements and their magic
I was separated from the earth, from spirit
Wandering through the world
Walking dead
Dreams of flying but did what I was told instead
Praying for inner peace if
I would just be a good girl

The hurting ch1ld banished herself
From feeling
From receiving
From opening
From loving touch and kind words
Undeserving
Guilt and shame
Low vibrations fed on her brain

While stuck in a hardened cocoon
A priceless gem stored away for no one to see
Locked in the dark
Refusing the sun to set her diamonds ablaze
A sweet tune trapped in a music box
Waiting to be opened at last
Longing to sing

Wilted
But spirit
Was ultimately unbreakable
And she went through a transformation
Metamorphosis
Nature moving in the laws
She grew wings with no space to take flight

She wept
For years she cried
She blamed it on being water
Although she couldn’t seem to wash away the endless pains
She cried
And cried
And
Cried
Until her music box filled up with tears to the brim

She realized she cried all the tears
She held in over the years
She cried for her mother her brother her sister
And for herself because she missed her
No one was coming to save her

She gave herself up along the way
Sometimes she daydreamed of death

But her new life was just beginning
It began the moment she surrendered
A treasure at the bottom of the river
Blind in the mud unable to see
That she was a lotus coming up to breathe

Only in surrender can I find peace
Fully submerged do the walls of silt and dirt around my heart collapse
Revealing rays of light
Glistening fractals against the bath water
The alchemy salt and sins
The union of ida and pingala
The truth always lies within
And freedom, just a decision

Full moon in Pisces September 22
INTUITION

1. What do I DESIRE to be, have, or do? (Remember, desire is Spirit speaking through you)

2. What do I love the most about myself?

3. What is difficult for me to love in myself and others?

4. How can I show more compassion toward myself?

5. What in my life needs attention right now and I can tend to it?

6. FEEL INTO THE BEST VERSION OF YOU; YOUR HIGHEST SELF
How do they speak? How do they move? How do they dress themself? How do they show up? What are some of their qualities?

7. What is an energy/ state of being that brings more to me? (Hint; gratitude)

8. What am I grateful for in this room and in my life? Write down what you are grateful for as if you already have it. How grateful are you to have already accomplished your dreams/goals?

* We are constantly co-creating with each other and learning how to be human together

We are the new ancestors. It's our time to take inspired action. The new earth is arriving THROUGH us. It is time to create our own songs, new songs. As we rise in this battle in this war on our consciousness. We rightfully claim what is ours as birthright; human connection, inner peace, love, a bond with nature, freedom to create- to be art, freedom to be bold in our authentic and diverse expression. Freedom to celebrate our gifts!
This is a chapter of reclamation, a great reunion with Spirit.
The journey of unbecoming and shedding old stories has brought us to a new space.. one of radical self-acceptance and perfect wholeness. Now we are remembering who we are and why we are here.
In loving honor and deep reverence we acknowledge our ancestors; walking among us in the unseen realm. We open to receive guidance and infinite support as we move in faith to complete our earth mission, and to live a rich experience of abundant, eternal, unconditional love.