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Sometimes life doesn't go as we hoped.

Life update:
I have been dealing with a LOT in the past few months, the primary two have been a sudden depression (getting better now) and my relationship falling apart.

As of tomorrow I will be moving out of the house we have shared and back in with my parents. I am sad, shameful, and a bit embarassed but ultimately I understand what led us here and am doing all I can to forgive and move forward.

It sucks, and I will miss spending so much time with him. The part of me that has been his partner is hurt and afraid of what's ahead. The part of me that has been his friend is really proud and impressed that he's taking this step.

Things are still in limbo and we are both hoping that some space to ourselves might change things. While I am hoping we will get back on track, what he wants in a relationship has changed and I'm not sure that I am capable of providing that.

I have personal goals that I have been trying to work toward which will be made more difficult in some ways but (hopefully) easier in others.

So, this is why I have been just as infrequent with posting (as I have always been 😅) and why it's gonna take a little bit for me to get back into things.

I do want to post more and be more active with yall. You're all wonderful folk and I am so freaking grateful to have ya.

Who knows, maybe in my new place I can do some pole dance videos or some live streams :)

Today I worked my first 8 hour shift in over five years. I am very proud.
It may seem like an odd thing to be proud of but here I am needing to be so. Over the years I have developed a legitimate
totally irrational fear of working that has impacted both being employed AND "working" for myself. I am hoping that today represents a step forward in my life.

Chilly girl is nice and cozy now after taking a couple of quick photos (check your inbox).
I want a fancier looking warm robe so I feel fancy all day at home during winter 😄

Good morning lovelies! We had the coldest morning recorded in seven years yesterday! It was 0.7 degrees C (32 f). My body hates the cold so much I get headaches from it XD. Who else has to wear a beanie to sleep when it gets cold?

Feeling goofy. About to go send my little bl00d dudes to a theme park with this one particular ride that spins them😆. In normal people speak I'm going to go have a bl00d test 😁😆😜

Sick, sleepy girl feeling cold and cute 😚😴

As much as I don't like the cold, I really like being able to wear my snuggly dressing gown.

Ever wondered what I look like au naturel? Check out the first picture that just went out😘

Dunno why but feeling a little tomboyish this morning!

Morning!